FarrSouth

Life is beautiful...

2010-10-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

I LOVE GENERAL CONFERENCE!!! I know that's not a new idea I'm sharing, but I have to say it again. Listening to President Monson conclude this morning's session with a reminder of the importance of not just feeling gratitude, but expressing it was probably why I decided to jump on here between sessions. I need to say how grateful I am for the wonderful things in my life...

I have an awesome husband. He works so hard and sacrifices much to make a living that allows our family to have a sweet home in an amazing location. The picture above was taken out my back door a couple evenings ago. This beauty is literally right outside my door. And Glenn has volunteered to spend MANY HOURS each week commuting so our family can enjoy this. He is awesomel!

I have 4 spectacular kids. Drew and Zac are both attending community college right now. They're totally the youngest in their classes (since Drew should be a HS Senior and Zac a Junior), but both are academically at the top of their classes. As much as I appreciate that, I'm even happier to know they're both a great example to their classmates. And they, along with Matt, willingly get up before 6AM 5 days a week to attend Seminary. Because of the effort my boys put into developing their talents, our home is filled with music... I love hearing them playing the piano, keyboard or guitar (the drums are ok, too, it's just not the same). As I sit here typing, Matt's working on some of his drawing on the computer. I'm always impressed at his creations and especially appreciate the times he asks Sarah what she wants him to draw... he is so considerate of her. Sarah is our ray of sunshine. She can be a bit on the sassy side sometimes, but is quick to give hugs and tell us she loves us. She even asked Drew to marry her this last week. [Don't worry, we're explaining why that can't happen.] Being the mom to these 4 exceptional individuals has enriched my life beyond measure.

Glenn, the kids and I are all healthy... an immeasurable blessing. We live in a land of unparalleled freedom, thanks to the sacrifices of family friends and people we don't even know. I live in a time of technological wonders and benefit daily from their application in my life. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ reminding me always of how much I have to be grateful for and what's truly important.

Life is beautiful and I am grateful.

We can rebuild him...better...stronger...faster?

2010-05-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

Ok ...that reference may have meant nothing to anyone younger than me (see here to get it), but Matthew's x-ray totally made me think of Steve Austin (NOT the wrestler/ actor-- follow the link above if you are confused). For those who can't tell from the picture, Matthew's now sporting an assortment of 3 plates and 9 screws in his left leg. And while I know it won't cost us anywhere near Six Million Dollars, it isn't going to be cheap.<sigh>

The great news is that after over 4 hours of surgery and a hospital stay of almost 3 days, Matthew was able to return home with all the hardware in place to help his tibia and fibula heal. The not so good news is he was still in a fair amount of pain for another week or more. It's only been the last few days (and we're now almost 4 weeks post-op) that he's really seeming to be pain-free most of the time and having an easier time getting around on his own. He's still on crutches... which are far more glamorous than the walker he was stuck with for the first week and a half.

At his 10 day post-surgical visit, the doctor removed the temp cast/ hard splint (ie plaster that didn't go all the way around his leg) and told him to pick his cast color. Being a unique sort of fellow, Matthew chose the rare option of day-glo orange. It looks great, as you can see. We've all had a lot of fun writing our pithy advice on the cast. Some of his RC friends even sent their remarks via text for Zac to write in proxy. He still has some empty space, so feel free to send your words to me for adding to the "leg of fame."

We hope in another week or so to be out of the cast, but for now Matthew still needs to have his leg elevated when he's not moving around to be comfortable Happily, he can make it in and out of the bathroom on his own and has even started making/getting some of his own food again. He is doing so much better, which makes his mother's heart sing!

But does he really look faster? That'll have to come later, I guess.

Just don't say, "Give me a break."

2010-04-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

Yeah, the picture's not really for the faint of heart or those with weak stomachs. So, sorry if that's you. But I thought the x-ray would kind of put everything in perspective...

It's been a kind of stressful last couple weeks at the Farr house.

We went under contract on a sweet little beach cottage March 29th... very exciting right? Did I mention it's only a half mile from the beach in Oceanside? It is small, but cute as a button. And if you love the vintage thing, this 1955 charmer has it in spades. What it also has is some problems. Not too surprising in an older home, but they were the kind of thing that required repairs before the bank would loan on the property. So we took a deep breath and said, ok-- slight delay, we can deal.

We would have liked life to ease up on the other usual stressors (job, church callings, parenting), and may have thought or even said, "Give me a break." Not a good idea, apparently. Those usual things kept coming at us, and then we got the call...

Matthew and Zachary went to the park with friends last Thursday evening. I remember thinking 7:30 was kind of late to go play on a school night, but since we're moving soon I hate for them to miss time with friends. It wasn't 20 minutes later that Zac called to say, "Matthew broke his leg." My initial reaction was disbelief, then Glenn and I dashed to the car to get him. A rather frantic drive to the closest ER (with a skateboard splint immobilizing the break) was followed by a LONG night/day in the hospital that ended with us being told surgery wouldn't happen 'till Monday at the soonest. Since this was an out-of-network hospital (you know the headache and wallet-drain that means), we opted to go home and see a doctor somewhere else.

Monday we saw a great doc at Cedars-Sinai, who scheduled surgery for Friday (tomorrow) morning. The interim has meant waiting on Matthew hand and foot (haha- NOT) while he lays on the couch. The break's too painful for even walking on crutches. It's been a long, tiring week, but the end is in sight. Tomorrow we'll head for Beverly Hills around 4 AM and he should have a cast in place before lunchtime. We'll return home Saturday morning.

Since work on the new house is done and we should be closing this next week, returning home will mean a whirlwind of final packing duties. And it, too, will be exhausting. But in a couple weeks, we'll be settling in to our new home, with ocean breezes wafting through the windows. And Matthew will be hobbling to the bathroom (and everywhere else) more or less on his own. Life will be assuming the familiar (though slightly altered) shape of normalcy.

And I will be far more careful about saying (or even thinking) "Give me a break."

Welcome Summer!

2009-06-07T22:21:00.000-07:00

The public school kids in our ward have their last day of school this Wednesday. I see enthusiasm, excitement and even some apprehension in the eyes of their moms. Enthusiasm to have time off from homework and all the busy stuff associated with school. Excitement to be able to take a trip without worrying what assignments the kids will miss and have to make up. And a bit of apprehension over how exactly to keep the kids busy all summer (granted it's shorter this year as the local schools shift their year slightly) when they're around all the time!

I've had more than a few people ask me if we'll be doing school this summer. Our first year homeschooling, I tried the let's go year-round, but with a simplified summer schedule. It was ok, but the kids hated knowing they had to do schoolwork while their friends were completely off. Since then, I just ask the kids to look at a bit of math once a week so they're not too rusty when we start back in the fall. I never have to worry about reading-- I can't keep the kids away from books (wonder where they get that?). And with the Internet to answer those "how come" and "why" questions as they come up, I figure we get a smattering of science, history and geography over the summer, too.

I love the summer break! Since the kids are always here anyway, it doesn't make a huge difference for me-- but most moms have the same work year 'round, right? What I love is the feeling of being a little more free with our time. Fewer commitments, more down-time. . .I just feel more relaxed. We probably won't take any big trips (other than a few Scout outings some of the boys and Glenn will go on and maybe a trip up North to see family), but I'm sure we'll spend more time at the beach, see more of the grandparents in San Diego, visit Knott's Berry Farm with our new passes, spend time daily in our pool (and many a friend's pool, too). Good, relaxing fun!

It will be hot. Summer in the Inland Empire is hot, guaranteed. But the pool out back is always refreshing. And since my industrious husband put an evaporative cooler in, we can be pleasantly cool any time we want without breaking the bank! (THANK YOU, GLENN!!!) And when it's hot, you can enjoy that ice cream or popsicle far more than when the weather's cool. Not to mention the grilling! I love to grill and the summer heat assures I'll choose to grill rather than heat up the kitchen (though if I must the new evap cooler keeps the house temp down).

So I say, "Welcome, lazy days of summer!" They, like my children's childhood, are fleeting and should be enjoyed to their fullest while here. So you'll see my skin darken and hair lighten a bit from more time outside. Expect my attitude to be a bit more lassez faire. And don't be surprised to get my voicemail a bit more often. It's 'summer time and the living is easy'. . .see you poolside!

Conference Weekend & Stages

2009-04-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

I love General Conference! I look forward to the messages and insights each April (and October). I took copious notes and I'll enjoy reviewing them 'til our May Ensign arrives and I can read and highlight each talk. I always end the weekend feeling re-charged and ready to face the next 6 months. So far, it's been great and I can't even choose my favorite talk-- too many contenders! It's pretty easy to pay attention now that my kids are mostly big. Zac and Matt hung out by the family computer with me to watch, while Drew had some friends watching on his computer with him-- they even took notes! Sarah was kind of floating (and not really paying attention). The ease with which I can watch reminded me of something I realized earlier this week:

We have a number of new (or soon to be arriving) babies in our ward. And most of them are coming to homes with other little ones. I've been attending baby showers, visiting these new moms, watching them at Park Day and at church a lot lately. First of all, these are impressive young moms. . .they're so on top of it all! I really enjoy seeing the devotion they have to their kids and how much they value their role as mommy. What I also see is that they are often very tired. And perhaps longing for a bit of time without someone hanging on some part of them, demanding attention NOW, requiring that ever-tiring consistency that is the key to easier times with young kids (and lays the foundation for easier times with bigger kids & teens, too). The shocking thing was realizing I am not one of them anymore. I seem to have turned around and become middle-aged (gasp).

I really can't get my head around it. You'd think I'd be more prepared. . .I've been thinking about Drew's 16th birthday coming up, talking about all the boys being teens now, and nearly daily I have to remind Sarah her birthday isn't until July (which then makes me think how she'll be 10). Still. . .I feel far too young to be all grown-up! Not that I don't appreciate all the freedom this stage of life gives me, I do! I don't have to cut up anyone's food at dinner. I'm not up with little ones every night. I carry no bottles and got rid of my nursing bras long ago. I can go to lunch with friends without hurrying home to meet a bus or taking along a toddler who'll disrupt the outing. I'm not scared of taking my kids to store (ok. . .maybe I am sometimes, but more for the cost of what they'll ask for than what they'll get into). This is a wonderful new stage of life!

But. . .it still has it's stresses. Making little ones mind is at least possible (if not always likely); with teens you just hope you've taught them well enough that they'll choose to respect what you say, 'cause you'll never make them do anything. Your worries are no longer about skinned knees and bad dreams. Now it's car accidents and curfews. Forget worrying if their outfit matches, now you worry about what their outfits say about them. . .and how to get them to understand why that's important. Hair, hobbies, hanging out. . .all of these are things they'll tell you they know best about and they'll give you the minimum amount of input they think they have to in order to stay in your good graces. They will try to treat you as their personal ATM, taxi and maid. Sigh.

Interestingly, some concerns are the same: is anyone bullying them or breaking their heart? Are they learning all they need to? Are they safe? What does the future hold for them? And whichever stage they're at, it goes too fast. Physical exhaustion kept me from seeing it when the boys were small, but watching these younger moms and their little ones lately pointed out the obvious: my kids will never be little again. My oldest will be out on his own before too long, with his brothers following right behind. And while they're rushing to get there, I'm now feeling a little nostalgic for the younger years.

But here comes one of the boys to have me listen to a song he's written. Another wants to talk to me about a girl he may like. And a third wants to tell me about a great poli-sci blog he found. And I'm reminded how great this stage is and how much I enjoy it. And then I realize the most important thing is that. . .to enjoy the stage we're at.

And that's where I'll end today. . .remembering to enjoy this stage for what it offers and wishing you the same!

Just start it already!

2009-03-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Drew said I was over-thinking all this and just need to start. So with that word of wisdom from my oldest child to inspire me, here goes. . .

My life revolves largely around my wife and mom duties. I imagine that's pretty normal among many of the women I know. Now that I have kids old enough to be giving me advice-- and with three teenagers in the house now, trust me, there's plenty of that going on-- it's making me stop a bit more and think about just what I am passing on to them. Obviously not all things we pass on to our kids come as formal advice. . .a lot is just picked up from the things we say over and over. I had a perfect example of that with Sarah the other day. . .

I was watching a DVR'd episode of Lost (I love the DVR and all the time it saves and the ability to watch when I want to) and I said some character was going to kill someone else. Sarah was coming down the stairs and said, "Mom, don't say that. That's a calling name," in her most reproving voice. I had to really try not to laugh out loud. How many times have I told her or the boys, "No calling names!" or some version thereof? She may not have had it exactly right, but her reaction definitely showed she understood the spirit of what I'd been trying to teach: be nice (and killing isn't nice, is it). So I guess that one worked out well. I'm pretty sure I could come up with some phrases the kids have repeated at some point over the years that I'd rather they hadn't picked up. Better to focus on the positive!

So that's where I'll end for now. . .being mindful of the "informal" advice I'm giving my kids (and everyone else) each day. And focusing on my successes more that my shortcomings. I hope you all do the same!