Conference Weekend & Stages

I love General Conference! I look forward to the messages and insights each April (and October). I took copious notes and I'll enjoy reviewing them 'til our May Ensign arrives and I can read and highlight each talk. I always end the weekend feeling re-charged and ready to face the next 6 months. So far, it's been great and I can't even choose my favorite talk-- too many contenders! It's pretty easy to pay attention now that my kids are mostly big. Zac and Matt hung out by the family computer with me to watch, while Drew had some friends watching on his computer with him-- they even took notes! Sarah was kind of floating (and not really paying attention). The ease with which I can watch reminded me of something I realized earlier this week:

We have a number of new (or soon to be arriving) babies in our ward. And most of them are coming to homes with other little ones. I've been attending baby showers, visiting these new moms, watching them at Park Day and at church a lot lately. First of all, these are impressive young moms. . .they're so on top of it all! I really enjoy seeing the devotion they have to their kids and how much they value their role as mommy. What I also see is that they are often very tired. And perhaps longing for a bit of time without someone hanging on some part of them, demanding attention NOW, requiring that ever-tiring consistency that is the key to easier times with young kids (and lays the foundation for easier times with bigger kids & teens, too). The shocking thing was realizing I am not one of them anymore. I seem to have turned around and become middle-aged (gasp).

I really can't get my head around it. You'd think I'd be more prepared. . .I've been thinking about Drew's 16th birthday coming up, talking about all the boys being teens now, and nearly daily I have to remind Sarah her birthday isn't until July (which then makes me think how she'll be 10). Still. . .I feel far too young to be all grown-up! Not that I don't appreciate all the freedom this stage of life gives me, I do! I don't have to cut up anyone's food at dinner. I'm not up with little ones every night. I carry no bottles and got rid of my nursing bras long ago. I can go to lunch with friends without hurrying home to meet a bus or taking along a toddler who'll disrupt the outing. I'm not scared of taking my kids to store (ok. . .maybe I am sometimes, but more for the cost of what they'll ask for than what they'll get into). This is a wonderful new stage of life!

But. . .it still has it's stresses. Making little ones mind is at least possible (if not always likely); with teens you just hope you've taught them well enough that they'll choose to respect what you say, 'cause you'll never make them do anything. Your worries are no longer about skinned knees and bad dreams. Now it's car accidents and curfews. Forget worrying if their outfit matches, now you worry about what their outfits say about them. . .and how to get them to understand why that's important. Hair, hobbies, hanging out. . .all of these are things they'll tell you they know best about and they'll give you the minimum amount of input they think they have to in order to stay in your good graces. They will try to treat you as their personal ATM, taxi and maid. Sigh.

Interestingly, some concerns are the same: is anyone bullying them or breaking their heart? Are they learning all they need to? Are they safe? What does the future hold for them? And whichever stage they're at, it goes too fast. Physical exhaustion kept me from seeing it when the boys were small, but watching these younger moms and their little ones lately pointed out the obvious: my kids will never be little again. My oldest will be out on his own before too long, with his brothers following right behind. And while they're rushing to get there, I'm now feeling a little nostalgic for the younger years.

But here comes one of the boys to have me listen to a song he's written. Another wants to talk to me about a girl he may like. And a third wants to tell me about a great poli-sci blog he found. And I'm reminded how great this stage is and how much I enjoy it. And then I realize the most important thing is that. . .to enjoy the stage we're at.

And that's where I'll end today. . .remembering to enjoy this stage for what it offers and wishing you the same!