The public school kids in our ward have their last day of school this Wednesday. I see enthusiasm, excitement and even some apprehension in the eyes of their moms. Enthusiasm to have time off from homework and all the busy stuff associated with school. Excitement to be able to take a trip without worrying what assignments the kids will miss and have to make up. And a bit of apprehension over how exactly to keep the kids busy all summer (granted it's shorter this year as the local schools shift their year slightly) when they're around all the time!
I've had more than a few people ask me if we'll be doing school this summer. Our first year homeschooling, I tried the let's go year-round, but with a simplified summer schedule. It was ok, but the kids hated knowing they had to do schoolwork while their friends were completely off. Since then, I just ask the kids to look at a bit of math once a week so they're not too rusty when we start back in the fall. I never have to worry about reading-- I can't keep the kids away from books (wonder where they get that?). And with the Internet to answer those "how come" and "why" questions as they come up, I figure we get a smattering of science, history and geography over the summer, too.
I love the summer break! Since the kids are always here anyway, it doesn't make a huge difference for me-- but most moms have the same work year 'round, right? What I love is the feeling of being a little more free with our time. Fewer commitments, more down-time. . .I just feel more relaxed. We probably won't take any big trips (other than a few Scout outings some of the boys and Glenn will go on and maybe a trip up North to see family), but I'm sure we'll spend more time at the beach, see more of the grandparents in San Diego, visit Knott's Berry Farm with our new passes, spend time daily in our pool (and many a friend's pool, too). Good, relaxing fun!
It will be hot. Summer in the Inland Empire is hot, guaranteed. But the pool out back is always refreshing. And since my industrious husband put an evaporative cooler in, we can be pleasantly cool any time we want without breaking the bank! (THANK YOU, GLENN!!!) And when it's hot, you can enjoy that ice cream or popsicle far more than when the weather's cool. Not to mention the grilling! I love to grill and the summer heat assures I'll choose to grill rather than heat up the kitchen (though if I must the new evap cooler keeps the house temp down).
So I say, "Welcome, lazy days of summer!" They, like my children's childhood, are fleeting and should be enjoyed to their fullest while here. So you'll see my skin darken and hair lighten a bit from more time outside. Expect my attitude to be a bit more lassez faire. And don't be surprised to get my voicemail a bit more often. It's 'summer time and the living is easy'. . .see you poolside!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Conference Weekend & Stages
I love General Conference! I look forward to the messages and insights each April (and October). I took copious notes and I'll enjoy reviewing them 'til our May Ensign arrives and I can read and highlight each talk. I always end the weekend feeling re-charged and ready to face the next 6 months. So far, it's been great and I can't even choose my favorite talk-- too many contenders! It's pretty easy to pay attention now that my kids are mostly big. Zac and Matt hung out by the family computer with me to watch, while Drew had some friends watching on his computer with him-- they even took notes! Sarah was kind of floating (and not really paying attention). The ease with which I can watch reminded me of something I realized earlier this week:
We have a number of new (or soon to be arriving) babies in our ward. And most of them are coming to homes with other little ones. I've been attending baby showers, visiting these new moms, watching them at Park Day and at church a lot lately. First of all, these are impressive young moms. . .they're so on top of it all! I really enjoy seeing the devotion they have to their kids and how much they value their role as mommy. What I also see is that they are often very tired. And perhaps longing for a bit of time without someone hanging on some part of them, demanding attention NOW, requiring that ever-tiring consistency that is the key to easier times with young kids (and lays the foundation for easier times with bigger kids & teens, too). The shocking thing was realizing I am not one of them anymore. I seem to have turned around and become middle-aged (gasp).
I really can't get my head around it. You'd think I'd be more prepared. . .I've been thinking about Drew's 16th birthday coming up, talking about all the boys being teens now, and nearly daily I have to remind Sarah her birthday isn't until July (which then makes me think how she'll be 10). Still. . .I feel far too young to be all grown-up! Not that I don't appreciate all the freedom this stage of life gives me, I do! I don't have to cut up anyone's food at dinner. I'm not up with little ones every night. I carry no bottles and got rid of my nursing bras long ago. I can go to lunch with friends without hurrying home to meet a bus or taking along a toddler who'll disrupt the outing. I'm not scared of taking my kids to store (ok. . .maybe I am sometimes, but more for the cost of what they'll ask for than what they'll get into). This is a wonderful new stage of life!
But. . .it still has it's stresses. Making little ones mind is at least possible (if not always likely); with teens you just hope you've taught them well enough that they'll choose to respect what you say, 'cause you'll never make them do anything. Your worries are no longer about skinned knees and bad dreams. Now it's car accidents and curfews. Forget worrying if their outfit matches, now you worry about what their outfits say about them. . .and how to get them to understand why that's important. Hair, hobbies, hanging out. . .all of these are things they'll tell you they know best about and they'll give you the minimum amount of input they think they have to in order to stay in your good graces. They will try to treat you as their personal ATM, taxi and maid. Sigh.
Interestingly, some concerns are the same: is anyone bullying them or breaking their heart? Are they learning all they need to? Are they safe? What does the future hold for them? And whichever stage they're at, it goes too fast. Physical exhaustion kept me from seeing it when the boys were small, but watching these younger moms and their little ones lately pointed out the obvious: my kids will never be little again. My oldest will be out on his own before too long, with his brothers following right behind. And while they're rushing to get there, I'm now feeling a little nostalgic for the younger years.
But here comes one of the boys to have me listen to a song he's written. Another wants to talk to me about a girl he may like. And a third wants to tell me about a great poli-sci blog he found. And I'm reminded how great this stage is and how much I enjoy it. And then I realize the most important thing is that. . .to enjoy the stage we're at.
And that's where I'll end today. . .remembering to enjoy this stage for what it offers and wishing you the same!
We have a number of new (or soon to be arriving) babies in our ward. And most of them are coming to homes with other little ones. I've been attending baby showers, visiting these new moms, watching them at Park Day and at church a lot lately. First of all, these are impressive young moms. . .they're so on top of it all! I really enjoy seeing the devotion they have to their kids and how much they value their role as mommy. What I also see is that they are often very tired. And perhaps longing for a bit of time without someone hanging on some part of them, demanding attention NOW, requiring that ever-tiring consistency that is the key to easier times with young kids (and lays the foundation for easier times with bigger kids & teens, too). The shocking thing was realizing I am not one of them anymore. I seem to have turned around and become middle-aged (gasp).
I really can't get my head around it. You'd think I'd be more prepared. . .I've been thinking about Drew's 16th birthday coming up, talking about all the boys being teens now, and nearly daily I have to remind Sarah her birthday isn't until July (which then makes me think how she'll be 10). Still. . .I feel far too young to be all grown-up! Not that I don't appreciate all the freedom this stage of life gives me, I do! I don't have to cut up anyone's food at dinner. I'm not up with little ones every night. I carry no bottles and got rid of my nursing bras long ago. I can go to lunch with friends without hurrying home to meet a bus or taking along a toddler who'll disrupt the outing. I'm not scared of taking my kids to store (ok. . .maybe I am sometimes, but more for the cost of what they'll ask for than what they'll get into). This is a wonderful new stage of life!
But. . .it still has it's stresses. Making little ones mind is at least possible (if not always likely); with teens you just hope you've taught them well enough that they'll choose to respect what you say, 'cause you'll never make them do anything. Your worries are no longer about skinned knees and bad dreams. Now it's car accidents and curfews. Forget worrying if their outfit matches, now you worry about what their outfits say about them. . .and how to get them to understand why that's important. Hair, hobbies, hanging out. . .all of these are things they'll tell you they know best about and they'll give you the minimum amount of input they think they have to in order to stay in your good graces. They will try to treat you as their personal ATM, taxi and maid. Sigh.
Interestingly, some concerns are the same: is anyone bullying them or breaking their heart? Are they learning all they need to? Are they safe? What does the future hold for them? And whichever stage they're at, it goes too fast. Physical exhaustion kept me from seeing it when the boys were small, but watching these younger moms and their little ones lately pointed out the obvious: my kids will never be little again. My oldest will be out on his own before too long, with his brothers following right behind. And while they're rushing to get there, I'm now feeling a little nostalgic for the younger years.
But here comes one of the boys to have me listen to a song he's written. Another wants to talk to me about a girl he may like. And a third wants to tell me about a great poli-sci blog he found. And I'm reminded how great this stage is and how much I enjoy it. And then I realize the most important thing is that. . .to enjoy the stage we're at.
And that's where I'll end today. . .remembering to enjoy this stage for what it offers and wishing you the same!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Just start it already!
Drew said I was over-thinking all this and just need to start. So with that word of wisdom from my oldest child to inspire me, here goes. . .
My life revolves largely around my wife and mom duties. I imagine that's pretty normal among many of the women I know. Now that I have kids old enough to be giving me advice-- and with three teenagers in the house now, trust me, there's plenty of that going on-- it's making me stop a bit more and think about just what I am passing on to them. Obviously not all things we pass on to our kids come as formal advice. . .a lot is just picked up from the things we say over and over. I had a perfect example of that with Sarah the other day. . .
I was watching a DVR'd episode of Lost (I love the DVR and all the time it saves and the ability to watch when I want to) and I said some character was going to kill someone else. Sarah was coming down the stairs and said, "Mom, don't say that. That's a calling name," in her most reproving voice. I had to really try not to laugh out loud. How many times have I told her or the boys, "No calling names!" or some version thereof? She may not have had it exactly right, but her reaction definitely showed she understood the spirit of what I'd been trying to teach: be nice (and killing isn't nice, is it). So I guess that one worked out well. I'm pretty sure I could come up with some phrases the kids have repeated at some point over the years that I'd rather they hadn't picked up. Better to focus on the positive!
So that's where I'll end for now. . .being mindful of the "informal" advice I'm giving my kids (and everyone else) each day. And focusing on my successes more that my shortcomings. I hope you all do the same!
My life revolves largely around my wife and mom duties. I imagine that's pretty normal among many of the women I know. Now that I have kids old enough to be giving me advice-- and with three teenagers in the house now, trust me, there's plenty of that going on-- it's making me stop a bit more and think about just what I am passing on to them. Obviously not all things we pass on to our kids come as formal advice. . .a lot is just picked up from the things we say over and over. I had a perfect example of that with Sarah the other day. . .
I was watching a DVR'd episode of Lost (I love the DVR and all the time it saves and the ability to watch when I want to) and I said some character was going to kill someone else. Sarah was coming down the stairs and said, "Mom, don't say that. That's a calling name," in her most reproving voice. I had to really try not to laugh out loud. How many times have I told her or the boys, "No calling names!" or some version thereof? She may not have had it exactly right, but her reaction definitely showed she understood the spirit of what I'd been trying to teach: be nice (and killing isn't nice, is it). So I guess that one worked out well. I'm pretty sure I could come up with some phrases the kids have repeated at some point over the years that I'd rather they hadn't picked up. Better to focus on the positive!
So that's where I'll end for now. . .being mindful of the "informal" advice I'm giving my kids (and everyone else) each day. And focusing on my successes more that my shortcomings. I hope you all do the same!
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